Sunday, 18 October 2009


I sat down to right a post about the clashes and frustrations of having a huge kink / perv interest but also a really low sex-drive.

The ironic thing is ... sat down and lost all interest and couldn't be bothered. Will do it over the next few days.

Woof: Leather Biker Bondage

Thursday, 15 October 2009

Saturday, 10 October 2009

Masters and slave relationships: Part 1

In May this year there was a book published called "Ask The Man Who Owns Him" by david stein with David Schachter which I mentioned a few posts back. While in San Francisco for Folsom I finally managed to pick up a copy - signed by one of the authors no less. It has been an amazing read, incredibly informative and very inspirational. And hopefully, and this is maybe a phrase used too often too easily, life-changing for me. And when I say that I don't say it lightly or in passing, but with all the seriousness, respect and authority such a statement requires.

But first, the following is a superb quote from one of the authors describing an outlook on life, and one that I really connected with and feel we all should consider. I know I intend on following it:
"I'll probably live for about 30,000 days. Any one of them in which I don't learn something is a wasted day."
- Introduction by David Snatcher (p15)
Reading the book has really helped me focus on my own desires as, or rather to become, an owned slave, the property of my Master. I have always been very submissive naturally and always happiest when helping / serving others in some way. By always I mean this goes right back to primary school - if there was an opportunity to help out a teacher or at an event I would do it. Events that required me to work as a gofer were often some of the best ones. And I would do it for two reasons, firstly I usually enjoyed it but most importantly ... it pleased the person I was doing it for.

Part of me has occasionally wondered if this is why I went into IT Support rather than development - to be at the service of others. It certainly wasn't a conscious decision as such but maybe that is the heart of a slave in me that I hadn't recognised until recently.
“A slave is an individual born with a slave spirit. No one can make someone have this spirit; nothing can be done to create this state in an individuals being. No one trying hard or wishing for this sense of spirit can develop it within themselves, and no Master can cause it to occur. slaves are extraordinary human beings who are born with this slave spirit - as much as they are born to breathe or have gifted talents for design or music.”
- Heart of a slave, Master Steve (p230)
I have had an interest, fascination and drawing to kinky / BDSM sexual practices for a long time. One of my strongest and earliest moments of sexual awakening happened many years ago in my teens late one night in my bed at home watching a film on TV. This would have been a very late night film on either BBC2 or Channel 4 that I'd have watched with the volume barely audible for fear my brother or parents hearing.

I have no idea what the film was called, who was in it or what it was really about. What I do remember about it is this – I think the lead guy was having an affair, he met a woman in a bar / motel somewhere and then started having sex with the woman in a motel room. I can't remember how it was introduced to the story but she then handcuffed him to the bed. The following morning he then had both handcuffs locked around one wrist … meaning he had carry on the road trip with her. These few moments of this film are some of the earliest erotic memories I have. They are by far the strongest of all memories of my sexual awakening. I was just so drawn to the bondage, the humiliation, the inability of escape and requirement to follow.

For a lot of people once they have access to the Internet in their own homes start off doing the same thing. Working out what the hell it is and how to use it – what's e-mail and how do you find stuff on Google? Not long after working out how to navigate they start looking for porn and sex!

And who can blame them … sex and porn are great!!

About ten years ago I was working for my local HE college in their IT department, and one of the privileges we had in IT was Dial-Up internet access from home. But better than that, since we controlled the system used for dialling in we used Callback! I would dial up to the server; it would authenticate my login and then disconnect me. And then call me back so that I could stay online for however long I wanted and not have to pay for the phone bill!!

While not officially 'Out' at this stage my interests in kink were growing … I was already looking at leather, bondage, BDSM sites and porn. Leather Navigator was an amazing site – and one that I sadly miss. Sites such as lthredge’s homepage were a directory full of great kink and play sites to explore.

So this isn't something that is new to me, it is something I've always wanted to explore.
But first of all, there is of course one critical question to answer about any M/s relationships. What is a slave? Master Rick (p124) makes a very good comment about this:
“So many people use the term 'slave' casually. To them it means the porno they saw with the loud music and a guy who yanks them in the door and calls them 'a piece of shit' or whatever, and they have mad passionate sex, and then they go away. That's great, too, but its not for me”
- Master Rick on (p124)
First of all there has to be a separation of scene / lifestyle. A scene can be with someone you just hooked up with online, met at a bar, a regular fuck buddy or your kinky boyfriend / husband / husbear. While in that scene you may be the bottom / boy / sub / slave / pup or you may be the Top / Daddy / Dom / Master / Trainer. You may even switch roles between or during a scene.
A scene could be a good old fashioned kinky fuck / play session – irrelevant of whether or not the players are in a M/s lifestyle relationship, with the other or someone else.

For some slavery is just limited to play spaces. Whether it is in bed, a dedicated playroom / dungeon, a club, a bar or at a fetish event. They describe their relationship as M/s but only really explore those roles from within these times.

Of course all of these are completely valid relationships and descriptions; the most important aspect in any of this is commitment, communication and understanding. For a lot of people exploring M/s play is about exploring your own sexuality, those of others and being open to new forms of sexual adventure and pleasure.

And then comes the separation of porn, fantasy and reality.

To be continued in Part 2 ...

Friday, 9 October 2009

Mister Marcus

Mister Marcus
1932 - 2009

Most people outside the US leather scene won't have a clue who this is. But its Mister Marcus, the queen of leather columnists in the US. Whenever in San Francisco I would pick up a copy of the Bay Area Reporter and turn to his column to see what was happening in the world of leather. I know how much he was loved and respected by many in SF, and the American leather scene - he was always at IML to make a speech / announce finalists and I am sure they will recognise his passing next may.

Hopefully one day the UK may recognise such a person for their regular column on the leather scene here ... one day, maybe.
The cause of death was complications from diabetes and arteriosclerosis. Mr. Hernandez was known to his legions of readers by his pen name "Mister Marcus" and dubbed the "dean of leather columnists." His weekly columns of contest goings-on and gossip were a must-read for leather community leaders, titleholders, and newcomers alike for 38 years. Mr. Hernandez had been hospitalized since the summer, when his health condition worsened. He was surrounded by friends at the time of his death; one of his sons had traveled from North Carolina to be at his bedside earlier this week. "Mr. Marcus has been a San Francisco institution for decades," said B.A.R. publisher Thomas E. Horn. "He unapologetically brought his message of pride for the LGBT community in general and his beloved leather community in particular not only to San Francisco but to all the United States and even the world.
Full story here.

Thursday, 8 October 2009

Shopping & Companies Closing

I've just been updating my shopping list. And rather sad to see that MindFetish has apparently closed its doors and is no longer trading, the same for DungeonBeds. Both excellent companies offering excellent products, a shame they weren't able to continue trading.

Its also a same that both companies couldn't keep hold of their domain names ... just to have them for their own history.

Hopefully all those who were involved in these companies are doing ok and moving on to good things.

Wednesday, 7 October 2009

Screw Don't Ask Don't Tell!

So depressing that the US Government still has suck a fucked up policy on queers in the Armed Forces. Though hopefully the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network will do some work to rectify that!

This reminds of me of the speech Brandon Clarke, Mr SF Leather 2009, gave at International Mr Leather this year ... I couldn't agree more!
“We’re looking for a few good men”…

That’s what was on the poster when I joined the Army.
But it was during basic training when I realized …
I too, was looking for a few good men!

It's kind of ironic that I had my first sexual experiences
while serving in the institution that
hunted down and expelled men who have sex with men.

I joined the Army on an ROTC scholarship,
was first in my class,
and served as a combat medic.

But it was my open support for gay rights
that kept me from being mobilized,
and rumors that I MIGHT be gay,
that caused an investigation into my private life.

Since implementing “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell”,
over 12,000 Gays and Lesbians have been discharged,
making it the only law in the U.S. that mandates firing
based on sexual orientation.

I think it's time the U.S. Military
should undergo its' own regime change,
or they should change
their recruitment posters to read:
“We’re looking for a few good STRAIGHT men”!

IT'S TIME we advocate
for Gay and Lesbians in our Military,
as well as queer veterans of the armed forces.

IT'S TIME they lift the ban
and change the rules….
NOT the poster.

Regardless if you support the military or not:
IT'S TIME our military finally delivers
Liberty and Justice...For All.
Brandon Clarke
Mr SF Leather 2009

Spanner Trust Charity Auction

"The Spanner Trust exists to defend the rights of sadomasochists of all sexual orientations and specifically to reverse the UK court ruling which made certain SM activities illegal even though all parties consent."
Master U have got together with The Hoist to host The German Party to celebrate 20 years of German Reunification. To commemorate such a landmark anniversary we created a unique German Themed Leather Sling and we are auctioning it with proceeds going to The Spanner Trust.

If you have ever wanted to own a quality leather sling then you really should bid on this one! The Master U sling really is the best quality and most comfortable sling you will ever have the pleasure of using / being used in.

The Spanner Trust is a fantastic organisation that has worked tirelessly for the benefit of the community, and the proceeds of this auction will certainly help them out I'm sure!

For the muscle freaks: Mr Olympia 2009

Congratulations to Jay Cutler
Mr Olympia 2009

For all you muscle heads the above shot is from the My Olympia final held in Las Vegas on the 26th September. I don't think there can be any doubt about his determination to look the best at his utmost peak since loosing out the number 1 spot last year.

He has also accomp0lished a first in the history of the event ... to regain the title! No other competitor has done this. Its sometimes said that competitions are won from the back, and with glues like that, with his tight lowerback and overal width and thickness not really much of a chance for the rest of the competitors.

Oh and the hair, I thought it really worked! With a body like that your gonna stand out so why not go the whole hog and top it off!

Friday, 2 October 2009

Folsom Street Fair 2009

The end of September means one thing in gay San Francisco ... Leather Pride Week culminating in the world famous Folsom Street Fair, over five blocks of men, leather, rubber, and a whole lot more!

This was a repeat visit for us to Folsom, some friends and some new friends on their first visit. As such a gear pig one of the big decisions for me is always what to wear. When in SF in May on a visit to Mr S i saw the DeRoy Bondage Vests and kinda fell in love with them. The problem was sizing - i needed a medium chest and large stomach. The solution ... made to measure!

So way back in July Dean took the relevant measurements required and i ordered my vest. Personally i really prefer leather over rubber. Don't get me wrong i love rubber gear - it's incredibly horny, but leather would always be my preference. And this vest is actually my first real bit of leather gear ... so I was very excited to order it. Though slightly nervous about the MTM aspect - if it didn't fit that would be £400 ($650) wasted!

So about a week and a half before the originally specified collection date i dropped Mr S an e-mail to check all is OK, the response is that it will be ready for collection the Tuesday after Folsom ... and a day after we leave SF! I wasn't at all pleased, but kept my cool and politely pointed out the order date, requested delivery date and most importantly the flying out of SF on the Monday morning. The production manager got back to me, apologised and confirmed the vest would be ready for collection first thing Saturday morning.

The Friday afternoon we went to Mr S to see if I could collect it then to free up Saturday. And indeed it was ready ... the lovely Bryan helped out with a few questions and I tried it on. After a brief moment panic about it maybe being a little on the small side some slight adjustments and it fit nearly perfectly! If I just loose the bit of weight I've added since ordering it will be perfect. And it feels amazing ... couldn't be happier, and lots of positive reactions from people when they saw it.

Sunday morning we met up with Ian, Paul, Master Mike and Chris quite early and headed down to Folsom for the fair! I was being lazy so wore my vest, shorts, Nasty Pig leg harness and Cat boots for the walk down ... the exhibitionist in me loves the looks and stares from people in the hotel lobby and on the street. Most people don't wear leather bondage gear around town, not even in San Francisco, and most people certainly don't expect to see it on a Sunday morning. Especially the people at the Law convention in the hotel. :o)

We probably arrived down at the fair (entering on 8th, and walking up to 7th were it started) a little later then originally hoped for around 11:15am but already it felt busier then previous years. We met up with our friends Mark and Mark and then Pup Loki and his Sir at the 7th Street stage. It was nice to finally meet Loki after following each other on Twitter for so long.

We stuck to our usual Folsom routine – walk down one side of the stalls, check them out and the guys on them and around and then do the other side. On the way down we made a quick stop at Mr S again, I succumb to a few small purchases too … got a lovely pair of Damascas CHP Motorcycle gloves … they feel amazing to wear and smell.

It is also a tradition that i stop by the Man's Hand Films stand for a good paddling … which this year Master Mike had agreed to administer. With time as it was we decided to first head up to 8th for a bite to eat so that Master Mike could collect his new harness (would be a lot cooler then the leather vest). We then got back to Folsom and made a collective decision – our time here was done. You couldn't move it was that packed!

A shame to miss out on a tradition, but i think it would have taken about 30 to 45mins to get down there, and since none of us like crowds like that we decided to call it a day. A shame to finish so early, but its better to finish having enjoyed the experience rather then have it soured in a big crush.

There were lots of the usual stalls, nice to see Tony Buff and Derek de Silva in person there, even though I didn't get to speak to them. Derek is shorter then I expected - but then being 6'2" so many people are., the guys who run the amazing site had a stall with live demo's on stage ... Dean got an amazing picture of a tied up black guy being topped by a Mistress ... he was totally lost in the scene, beautiful. Steamworks were hosting a naked twister game ... one guy had a monster of a cock! Most wore jocks ... but lots of flesh and hot asses on show to lust over and photo!

The fair was full of its usual mix of people, hot bears, hot muscle bears, pumped up muscle queens there just to show off their muscles, leather families, Masters and slaves, trannies, drag queens and a good sprinkling of people along to look at the freak show. I know for some of my friends a real lack of "talent" for their tastes ... but unfortunately this is an American Leather so the servings of chicken / twinks is very limited. Not that I was complaining ... lots and lots and lots of bears and guys for me to enjoy!

The fair was definitely getting a lot busier a lot earlier, compared to previous years I didn't take that many pictures - it was just too bloody hard to get any good ones. So instead we had a slightly more premature ending to our Folsom visit this year. Still loved it, got some great pictures and had a lovely time ... it was just too busy for us! When we walked around past the 7th entrance it looked like it had reached one out one in!

I'm sure we will be back again, but I really fancy doing the quieter Dore Alley and also one day trying Folsom Berlin ... well that one doesn't require a 10hour flight for a start!